Adoption update - waiting, waiting, and waiting...and?
We knew up front that "waiting" was going to be the bulk of what we, as an adoptive waiting family, would be doing in this process. But at first, we were holding out hope we'd be one of the lucky few who were matched within months instead of years (average was 8 months). After waiting so long (coming up on 1 1/2 years if ya can believe it!)... we're starting to experience, uh, psychological limits I think. Like, "what's wrong with us anyway?" type thoughts.
Since Wendy's now on summer break and will have time on her hands (3 month vacation!! makes me want to be a teacher)... We've decided that perhaps it's time to update our birthmother photo album (we're going to use updated photos and change the format a bit). Going to make it more "friendly" - we'd originally made it professional - nice and neat, and thought it reflected our personalities well... but see now the "what's wrong with us?" factor is creeping in - we're going to revise it to be more warm and friendly (stickers, actual photos with corners instead of printed page with fancy edges, and stuff like that). Since this is the only thing that they see which gives them an idea of who we are it's important to get it "right". If you think about the album long enough it starts to drive you insane - like, should we put in photos of us riding motorcycles, or me freeriding... or would that make them think "these are dangerous people" or would it make them think "wow, this couple is cool..." Ya just never know. Do we have "too many pets"? Is it good we have pets at all? Maybe they don't like dogs?... Geesh. Insane...!
In the end, we're left with just the one thought: You just never know what or why they'll be drawn to you as an adoptive family... it's a Divine sort of thing.
So, we'll revise our photo album, not because it isn't "right" but simply because it's really the only thing we can DO... besides wait and pray, and sometimes wonder, "what's wrong with us? why hasn't anybody chosen us yet?". Starting to get that "last picked" feeling when kids are choosing teams on the playground... It's not a good feeling. It makes you think all kinds of crazy things.
Oh, and we're exponentially more jealous of people with babies now. At first, we always imagined ourselves like them... "soon"... But now, it's "why them and not us?".
We'll survive. But the waiting is killing us.
Since Wendy's now on summer break and will have time on her hands (3 month vacation!! makes me want to be a teacher)... We've decided that perhaps it's time to update our birthmother photo album (we're going to use updated photos and change the format a bit). Going to make it more "friendly" - we'd originally made it professional - nice and neat, and thought it reflected our personalities well... but see now the "what's wrong with us?" factor is creeping in - we're going to revise it to be more warm and friendly (stickers, actual photos with corners instead of printed page with fancy edges, and stuff like that). Since this is the only thing that they see which gives them an idea of who we are it's important to get it "right". If you think about the album long enough it starts to drive you insane - like, should we put in photos of us riding motorcycles, or me freeriding... or would that make them think "these are dangerous people" or would it make them think "wow, this couple is cool..." Ya just never know. Do we have "too many pets"? Is it good we have pets at all? Maybe they don't like dogs?... Geesh. Insane...!
In the end, we're left with just the one thought: You just never know what or why they'll be drawn to you as an adoptive family... it's a Divine sort of thing.
So, we'll revise our photo album, not because it isn't "right" but simply because it's really the only thing we can DO... besides wait and pray, and sometimes wonder, "what's wrong with us? why hasn't anybody chosen us yet?". Starting to get that "last picked" feeling when kids are choosing teams on the playground... It's not a good feeling. It makes you think all kinds of crazy things.
Oh, and we're exponentially more jealous of people with babies now. At first, we always imagined ourselves like them... "soon"... But now, it's "why them and not us?".
We'll survive. But the waiting is killing us.
posted by Joe R at 12:20 PM
2 Comments:
Hey in there Joe and Wendy, your time will come. Easier said than done, I am sure. Big hugs to you both.
That seems to be an extraordinarily long time to wait. Any chance you could get help from your State Senator or Congressperson? They DO care about things like this. Good luck.
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